Mom’s Vacation Snapshots!

My parents used to travel quite a lot. Pop took pictures. Mom posed for them.

Over the years I have gotten many delightful pictures in the mail, with exposition written on the back in ball-point pen. I thought I would make my mother famous by posting some of my favorites on my website. Come with me and let’s see the world, Mom-style!

Location: Vietnam

Pop and I met the nicest young men in Vietnam. They were extremely polite, and concerned about our safety. They wore the silliest hats! I asked if I could buy a pair for Douglas and Gordon, but they said that they and their friends needed them. We didn’t stay very long – Pop cannot stand the smell of Napalm in the morning.

Location: Argentina

Buenos Aires is even more crowded than New York City! Pop had to cross the street before he had enough room to take a picture of me, and we had left the Zoom Lens in the hotel. I hope my beauty still comes through! Ha, ha, just kidding. The bakery behind me was supposed to have the best pastries in town, but it was not open today. Just our luck!

Location: Germany

There was a huge parade today, which completely tied up traffic. Pop and I got out, but I couldn’t see over peoples’ heads. I went to a nearby hotel, and one of the doors was unlocked. The residents were very nice and spoke a dialect of Yiddish. They let me stand on their balcony with them to watch. I haven’t seen such a precise kick line since the Rocketts at Radio City!

Location: En Route to Washington DC

Our rental car broke down today, and we are too far from Bruce to ask him to pick us up. Fortunately, we met some very nice boys and girls who agreed to give us a ride. Meet Starshine, Weed, and Honey! Weed had a very unkempt beard, like a monster, but when I told him how much better he would look if he trimmed it, Starshine and Honey laughed and made him do it right then and there. See how nice he looks now? They agreed to give us a ride, and we had a wonderful time. They asked us to come over for Tea sometime, which we thought was very continental of them.

Location: Washington DC

Bruce and Mary advised us to visit the White House Rose Garden while we were in town. Unfortunately, it was all roped off and we couldn’t get near enough to take a picture. Pop and I snuck under the ropes, and were able to wander around. It was gorgeous!

Location: Virginia

Pop and I decided to take Starshine, Weed, and Honey up on their invitation to visit. When we arrived, they obviously were having a party, so we turned to leave. Honey saw us and was overjoyed. Such a welcome! She insisted we meet all their friends, and she introduced us so nicely, “These are our friends Stan and Esther, and they came here specifically for tea.” They didn’t have any tea, it turns out, but they had some brownies that were even better than the ones we had in Austria and that one deli in the Bronx whose name I can never remember. Even though these young people dressed horribly they were very nice, and liked to sing songs. I taught them to sing “Zey ruchel zey” and a few other of your grandmother’s songs and they sang them over and over. After Pop and I left we went to a buffet and ate like pigs. I am embarrassed to tell you how much we ate. But for a cheap buffet you would not believe how good the food tasted.

Location: Outer Space

Long story. Pop and I will tell you when we visit.

Location: Hell

Just for the record, I’m not swearing, the name of this place really is Hell. It smells really bad here, like sulfur or bad gas. And talk about humid! I’m never going to complain about the weather again! The man in charge was very polite, and had a goatee that made him look like the devil. Pop explained to him that we were trying to get to Al’s using directions we printed out from MSN Maps, and he explained that Microsoft products lead many people on the road to Hell. Once he found out that we were tourists, he was very friendly. He had a drink with Pop and danced with me in the pale moonlight. I asked him if we could see him again, and he laughed and said, “Lady, if there was ever a couple destined for Elsewhere, it is you two! We shan’t meet again.” I was a little offended, but Pop says he was paying us a compliment.